Twenty Lessons I’ve Learned in My Two years Of Marriage

The last time I wrote an article like this, I had been married three months. Even though I didn’t claim to know everything at that time, there was a part of me that thought I knew a lot. That part of me knows better now. You can read about the last article here.  That said, I’m still learning a lot, but I thought you could learn from what I’ve learned. So here goes:

  1. I married the right guy. Not a perfect one, but one that was right for me; who loves God and gets me.
  2. An unforgiving spirit will kill your marriage. Apologize, forgive and forget.
  3. No two marriages are the same. Don’t constantly compare yourself, your spouse or relationship with others.
  4. Your fights will most likely be about the same old thing. I finally decided to listen to my husband’s complaints and make some adjustments. It turned out good…at least for my fashion sense.
  5. You can change from old habits. The sooner, the better.
  6. There will be challenges; what determines whether they make or break you is how you handle them.
  7. The rules don’t change; husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. Both of you submit to one another in love and submit to God.
  8. In a way, baby changes everything. You must both fight to keep the same what must be kept the same. Never let your child take the place of your spouse. Keep the romance alive.
  9. In a way, baby changes nothing. Character issues you both have will not disappear with the birth of a baby.
  10. Intercourse in marriage gets better with time.
  11. God always provides…except money is your god – then you’re really doomed. Be content, but work hard, work smart, save and invest.
  12. You need more help as your family expands. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
  13. Balance is possible if the foundation is sure. You can be a wife, mom, minister, business woman etc, if you prioritize correctly and make wise use of your time.
  14. Pray. Pray. Pray and pray. Not just about the relationship, but because being a person of prayer makes you a spirit filled person and with the daily temptations that come with marriage, you need to be spirit filled.
  15. Growing in your personal life as a Christian will help you grow in your relationship with your spouse. If you spend more time in prayer, you’re likely to spend less time in anger.
  16. Discard tactics that don’t work. Ladies, em…nagging hardly ever works.
  17. Be friends with your spouse’s friends, his family should be yours already.
  18. Plan ahead. For family. For ministry. For your careers. But first and foremost be open to God’s plan for your family.
  19. Nothing makes a marriage work as much as the commitment of both parties to making it work.
  20. My purpose isn’t marriage. It isn’t my career. It isn’t even motherhood. It’s Christ. In my loving, in my ‘mummying,’ in my working, I must live in Him, for Him, with Joy!

Thank you so much for reading. I’d love to return the favour and ‘read’ from you too. Please drop a comment and tell me what you think!

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  1. Ennydee November 1, 2016 at 3:35 am

    Noteworthy lessonshere Pastor Laju. Cheers 🍻 to many more years together in Christ.

  2. Oge C Ogwe November 1, 2016 at 3:38 am

    Lessons Learnt! Great piece pst Laju !

  3. Konko November 1, 2016 at 5:26 am

    ‘Cause I wanted you to know I was here *wink*
    I read the one you wrote at 3 months and it was every bit as wise as this is. Thank you for sharing.
    P.S.: Put a like feature so we can tap like when we appreciate it and really wouldn’t want to comment. A share button would be awesome too!
    Have an awesome blog ahead!

  4. Jenny November 1, 2016 at 6:06 am

    Wow Laju,I’m touched. Thank you for this. I know we learn every day but thanks for the basics…can’t wait to show case all I’m learning. May God comtinue to bless you and your family….Amen

  5. Emmanuel Iren November 1, 2016 at 6:13 am

    Good read. Well done babe

  6. Adetoun Jegede November 1, 2016 at 6:31 am

    Very spot on!👌 u couldnt have said it any better!

  7. Okocha Ijeoma November 1, 2016 at 6:33 am

    Happy Anniversary..🎈🎇🎆🎊🎉🙌🙌

  8. Christy November 1, 2016 at 6:43 am

    Inspiring and an eye opener for me. More of this is needed.
    Good work.

    1. Bisi Williams November 10, 2016 at 6:58 am

      Beautiful! Pastor laju. We really look forward to more of this…and we love you

  9. Bankole Idowu November 1, 2016 at 6:57 am

    Blessed… thank you ma.

  10. winnie November 1, 2016 at 7:19 am

    Great words ur last point was it for me christ shuld b our focus.well done

  11. Ejiro Abu November 1, 2016 at 7:27 am

    As soon as I saw this on IG I knew it had to read it. Well done Laju this was indeed worth reading.

  12. mercy udume November 1, 2016 at 7:36 am

    God bless you ma. I have learned from this. Enjoy your home with God.

  13. Onyibe I. Promise November 1, 2016 at 7:37 am

    Thank you very much pastor. I’m inspired !!!

  14. Motunrayo November 1, 2016 at 8:02 am

    This is awesome. Greater than the first.. I look forward to reading about lessons learnt after 3,4….10 years and more. Well-done Pst Laju

  15. Grace Sonaike nee Akinbo November 1, 2016 at 8:07 am

    This is a great piece. With my little experience in marriage (6months, 2weeks, 2days and some few hours) 😉, i concour n I’ve learnt more. God bless u so much 4 ds words. U r truly a blessing 2 our generation. Ur marriage shall never fail in Jesus name, Amen. Well done Sister of God.

  16. Babatunde November 1, 2016 at 8:16 am

    Awesome! Thank you, ma.

  17. steph November 1, 2016 at 8:21 am

    Thank you Pst Laju.blessd:)

  18. Tito November 1, 2016 at 8:32 am


  19. FISAYO ADEDIRE November 1, 2016 at 8:37 am

    Thank you pastor laju for sharing this with us…..God bless you and your family

  20. Meniru Chidinma November 1, 2016 at 8:48 am

    Thank you Mama.
    You always been a Great example to me and to us In Love and deed.keep Enjoying the Fullest of God Love in your Marriage. Love you ma

  21. Taiwo Adelakun November 1, 2016 at 9:10 am

    What can I say, we all have to keep learning and learning and learning. We can’t help it. Thank you ma for that piece, glad i read it.

  22. Abigail Azeke November 1, 2016 at 9:42 am

    Awesome…… this blessed me
    Many more fulfilled days ahead to you and your family

  23. Eseose November 1, 2016 at 10:16 am

    Mrs Laju, thou speakest truth, seen as well from other godly families I have been blessed to interact with. God bless you 😁!

  24. Crystal November 1, 2016 at 10:20 am

    Toms up Sis, well said. Happy Wedding Anniversary! Many more years in Jesus name.

  25. Valerie Aikhionbare November 1, 2016 at 10:45 am

    This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for taking the time to share this!! God bless you and your family and strengthen you for the years ahead! Congrats on your Anniversary!!

  26. Emmanuel Olatunji November 1, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Thanks for this piece Ma! #Blessed.
    Congratulations on your Marriage Anniversary.

  27. Stephen Olugbenro November 1, 2016 at 10:54 am

    Great Insights! Thanks ma!

  28. Lawal Funke November 1, 2016 at 11:14 am

    great tank u ma

  29. Abisola Oloriade November 1, 2016 at 11:32 am

    I am touched and blessed….Thank you and God bless you Ma.

  30. Shola November 1, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    I was thinking you will mention patient does marriage teach you to be patient?

  31. Bisola Adeniji November 1, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    Truly true words.You will not fail in Jesus name.

  32. Folu Seton November 1, 2016 at 1:40 pm

    Thanks for sharing this Laju. Looking forward to reading more. God bless

  33. Esther Moyin November 1, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks for sharing dear Laju. It is encouraging. Cheers.

  34. Ibk November 1, 2016 at 2:26 pm


    1. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 2:59 pm

      Thank you IBK!

  35. Ahre Mishael November 1, 2016 at 2:26 pm

    Thank you Pastor Laju for sharing. God bless you

    1. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 2:58 pm

      Amen. Thank you so much Mishael

    2. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 3:01 pm

      Amen. Thanks Mishael

  36. Jane Agbarah November 1, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    Such an inspiration nd enuf lessons learnt.

    1. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Thank you Jane!

  37. Nkechi November 1, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    *Smiles*… thanks much!!!

  38. Mike November 1, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    I had a fantastic read
    Thanks Pastor Laju

  39. Fiyin November 1, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Thank you Pastor Lady. I am inspired!

  40. Wura November 1, 2016 at 7:07 pm

    Pastor Laju, you did a great job. I receive grace to put it to practice in Jesus name.

  41. Biodun November 1, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    I learnt something. Good job ma!
    The world is learning from you.

  42. Omotola Balogun November 1, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    Great piece Laju!!! Learnt a whole lot.

  43. Andel November 1, 2016 at 8:25 pm

    Dis is wonderful,,keep it up Mrs iren 😀

    1. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 9:02 pm

      Thank you Andel!

  44. Dessy Onoja November 1, 2016 at 8:49 pm

    Conjugal Bliss my Dear Friend.

    1. Laju Iren November 1, 2016 at 9:01 pm

      Thanks my dear CBM.

  45. Durosomo Olusegun November 1, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Well packaged and very inspiring ma. Thank you for sharing

  46. Okoye Chioma November 1, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    I receive grace to apply dis

  47. D. November 2, 2016 at 1:07 am

    wise and precise! May God grant u and Pastor Iren many more years in Love.

  48. Thomas November 2, 2016 at 1:50 am

    Thank you mama!
    No. 12 – what kind of help ma?
    No. 15 – I love!

  49. Jigah Dominion November 2, 2016 at 4:13 am

    Wow!!! Learning… Thanks Pst laju

  50. Ejimadu Chioma November 2, 2016 at 6:32 am

    Ha Laju have have never failed to impress me. I have learnt alot from these short and wonderful article of yours. May God increase your wisdom greatly.

  51. Joshua M. November 2, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Laju Iren! Really wise words! Thank God for you and for Emmanuel and for your marriage. The 20th point is really powerful and everybody in a marriage should remember that. Thank you so much for sharing this. Continue being a blessing. More Grace!!!

  52. Steven ifeanyi chukwu November 2, 2016 at 8:27 am

    A nice piece Mrs pastor. I like how precise and straight forward it was.Hope to read one about training children.cheers

  53. Alumona Victor November 2, 2016 at 8:49 am

    Well done mummy!!!
    Nive piece.. Am really learning.
    God bless you ma

  54. PEACE PETER-NELSON November 2, 2016 at 1:41 pm

    This is an awesome piece
    More Grace Laju

  55. Henry Nwanja November 2, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Thanks Laju for this insightful and inspiring write up. It has touched lives far and near. You will always be a blessing to generations

  56. Oluwatosin November 2, 2016 at 7:49 pm

    wow! well done ma! I learnt a lot. many more years to celeberate. God bless you😊😊😊

  57. Omoregie Deborah November 3, 2016 at 1:51 am

    This a good write up. It blesses life. I pray I will be giving mine soonest

  58. Victoria Oluwatumininu November 5, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    Thank you so much ma for being real and practical in sharing these wise words. More of God’s grace, wisdom and strength in your marriage, family and ministry in Jesus’ name.

  59. Regina November 6, 2016 at 5:20 pm

    Thank you, Laju

  60. Jennifer November 6, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    Thanks so much for sharing. Its just a little different from what u shared wen u were 3mths in marriage. They are all words of wisdom. God bless u

  61. Faith November 6, 2016 at 9:02 pm

    awesome…i’ve been blessed by this…

  62. Debby November 9, 2016 at 10:32 am

    truly inspiring. i totally and completely agree and relate with everything you’ve written. this is ” a must read” for every woman. kudos Pst laju. looking forward to more articles.

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    Reading your site is big pleasure for me,
    it deserves to go viral, you need some initial traffic only.
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  64. Fiyin oluwole November 19, 2016 at 7:34 am

    Nice one…

  65. Morenikeji November 9, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    Thank you ma!

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