My fiance isn't as spiritual as I would like


Hello Laju,

Trust you are doing well? I have a few questions on my mind, I have discussed with a few friends but I am led to ask you too. My fiancé does not have the same vibe and passion as I do for God and His work/ministry. Very recently, we got talking about speaking in tongues and first fruits.He feels it is not compulsory for a believer to speak in tongues i.e. a believer can serve God without the gift of speaking in tongues.

He also does not fully support the first fruit offering, I feel concerned about this. Please kindly advice, thank you.slide6

Thank you so much for your question. I am also a bit worried that you believe your fiancé is not on fire for the Lord; At least not as much as you are. Have you tried talking to him about this? First of all, is he a Christian and does he attend a bible believing church?
Many times, the doctrines people believe are as a result of the church they attend.
Talking about doctrine, you mentioned two things; speaking in tongues and first fruits. Speaking in tongues is an essential part of the Christian life. Jesus himself in Mark 16: 17 said that speaking in tongues is a sign that would follow everyone who believes in him. The Apostle Paul said in 1 Cor 14: 18: ‘I speak in tongues more than you all…”
When the Holy Spirit first came upon believers in Acts 2, everyone present, including Mary the mother of Jesus spoke in tongues. The bible instructs us time and time again to be filled with the spirit.
However, unlike speaking in tongues, we see no instructions of first fruit in the new testament. Of course we see Jesus being referred to as the first fruit of the dead in 1 Cor 15: 20, but that is a different matter altogether. But the doctrine of giving your ‘first fruit’ is an old testament ordinance. It was an instruction given to the Jews before the coming of Christ. They were to take their first batch of Agricultural products to the temple. It was not given to us non-Jews, Jesus Christ has already come and just to be sure, you aren’t referring to Agricultural products right?
So, the conclusion is that this is not a new testament ordinance. And as a born again believer, the bulk your diet and foundation for your doctrines must come from the words of Jesus and the Apostles. If however, you want to give your first salary to God as a personal choice, that is good, commendable and acceptable. But if your fiancé does not believe it to be an ordinance given to the church, he is right.
That said, I would like to share a personal experience with you. I always wanted to marry someone who was a spiritual leader. Apart from the fact that I knew there was a call on my life, I realized that if I wanted someone to truly submit to, it would be someone who is submitted to God. That way, I would be sure I would be in safe hands.
Also, you must realize that the fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance are also the same ingredients for a good marriage. So the more sincere one’s relationship with God is, the more likely he or she is to have a happy home. When it all comes down to it, it’s your choice. If your man is saved and has a sincere interest in the things of God, it may just be an issue of time constraints or lack of access to the right church or pastor. If however, it’s an issue of interest i.e spiritual things don’t just interest him, then I suggest that you pause and reconsider before making a final decision.
Do you have a question for me? Please drop it in the comments section, or email me at Even if I don’t have the answer, I know the One who does.

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  1. Ehi December 28, 2016 at 8:09 pm

    Deep, mature and realistic response…. thank you!

  2. Uwana Umana December 29, 2016 at 4:13 pm

    Hi Ma Laju,
    Your articles are really nice, interesting and worth reading. It’s undeniable that the wisdom of God is flowing through you. Please keep writing and we’ll keep reading and learning by God’s Grace.
    More Grace Ma and God bless you.
    Love uuu.

  3. Samuel December 29, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    Nice read. Concise and Concrete.

  4. Jyeesmuis January 3, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    Many times, the doctrines people believe are as a result of the church they attend.
    veryyy so true… Thank you Pastor Laju. am sincerely blessed by this.

  5. Ese January 6, 2017 at 11:07 pm

    Please how do you know the man God has proposed for you to marry? I’m scared of making a mistake because I seem to meet the wrong men and I have done some things in the past I’m not proud of but I want a Godly marriage.

    1. Laju Iren January 8, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      Hi Ese, please I will answer your question before Friday.

  6. Tolu January 12, 2017 at 11:15 am

    People of God, just to help the other readers understand, please what is the difference between “first fruits” and “tithing”?

  7. Ese January 14, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    Gentle reminder.. 🙂


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