The last time I wrote an article like this, I had been married three months. Even though I didn’t claim to know everything at that time, there was a part of me that thought I knew a lot. That part of me knows better now. You can read about the last article here.  That said, I’m still learning a lot, but I thought you could learn from what I’ve learned. So here goes:

  1. I married the right guy. Not a perfect one, but one that was right for me; who loves God and gets me.
  2. An unforgiving spirit will kill your marriage. Apologize, forgive and forget.
  3. No two marriages are the same. Don’t constantly compare yourself, your spouse or relationship with others.
  4. Your fights will most likely be about the same old thing. I finally decided to listen to my husband’s complaints and make some adjustments. It turned out good…at least for my fashion sense.
  5. You can change from old habits. The sooner, the better.
  6. There will be challenges; what determines whether they make or break you is how you handle them.
  7. The rules don’t change; husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. Both of you submit to one another in love and submit to God.
  8. In a way, baby changes everything. You must both fight to keep the same what must be kept the same. Never let your child take the place of your spouse. Keep the romance alive.
  9. In a way, baby changes nothing. Character issues you both have will not disappear with the birth of a baby.
  10. Intercourse in marriage gets better with time.
  11. God always provides…except money is your god – then you’re really doomed. Be content, but work hard, work smart, save and invest.
  12. You need more help as your family expands. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
  13. Balance is possible if the foundation is sure. You can be a wife, mom, minister, business woman etc, if you prioritize correctly and make wise use of your time.
  14. Pray. Pray. Pray and pray. Not just about the relationship, but because being a person of prayer makes you a spirit filled person and with the daily temptations that come with marriage, you need to be spirit filled.
  15. Growing in your personal life as a Christian will help you grow in your relationship with your spouse. If you spend more time in prayer, you’re likely to spend less time in anger.
  16. Discard tactics that don’t work. Ladies, em…nagging hardly ever works.
  17. Be friends with your spouse’s friends, his family should be yours already.
  18. Plan ahead. For family. For ministry. For your careers. But first and foremost be open to God’s plan for your family.
  19. Nothing makes a marriage work as much as the commitment of both parties to making it work.
  20. My purpose isn’t marriage. It isn’t my career. It isn’t even motherhood. It’s Christ. In my loving, in my ‘mummying,’ in my working, I must live in Him, for Him, with Joy!

Thank you so much for reading. I’d love to return the favour and ‘read’ from you too. Please drop a comment and tell me what you think!


  • Ennydee
    Posted November 1, 2016 3:35 am 0Likes

    Noteworthy lessonshere Pastor Laju. Cheers 🍻 to many more years together in Christ.

  • Oge C Ogwe
    Posted November 1, 2016 3:38 am 0Likes

    Lessons Learnt! Great piece pst Laju !

  • Konko
    Posted November 1, 2016 5:26 am 0Likes

    ‘Cause I wanted you to know I was here *wink*
    I read the one you wrote at 3 months and it was every bit as wise as this is. Thank you for sharing.
    P.S.: Put a like feature so we can tap like when we appreciate it and really wouldn’t want to comment. A share button would be awesome too!
    Have an awesome blog ahead!

  • Jenny
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:06 am 0Likes

    Wow Laju,I’m touched. Thank you for this. I know we learn every day but thanks for the basics…can’t wait to show case all I’m learning. May God comtinue to bless you and your family….Amen

  • Emmanuel Iren
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:13 am 0Likes

    Good read. Well done babe

  • Debeerex
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:26 am 0Likes


  • Adetoun Jegede
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:31 am 0Likes

    Very spot on!👌 u couldnt have said it any better!

  • Okocha Ijeoma
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:33 am 0Likes

    Happy Anniversary..🎈🎇🎆🎊🎉🙌🙌

  • Christy
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:43 am 0Likes

    Inspiring and an eye opener for me. More of this is needed.
    Good work.

    • Bisi Williams
      Posted November 10, 2016 6:58 am 0Likes

      Beautiful! Pastor laju. We really look forward to more of this…and we love you

  • Bankole Idowu
    Posted November 1, 2016 6:57 am 0Likes

    Blessed… thank you ma.

  • winnie
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:19 am 0Likes

    Great words ur last point was it for me christ shuld b our focus.well done

  • Ejiro Abu
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:27 am 0Likes

    As soon as I saw this on IG I knew it had to read it. Well done Laju this was indeed worth reading.

  • mercy udume
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:36 am 0Likes

    God bless you ma. I have learned from this. Enjoy your home with God.

  • Onyibe I. Promise
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:37 am 0Likes

    Thank you very much pastor. I’m inspired !!!

  • Motunrayo
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:02 am 0Likes

    This is awesome. Greater than the first.. I look forward to reading about lessons learnt after 3,4….10 years and more. Well-done Pst Laju

  • Grace Sonaike nee Akinbo
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:07 am 0Likes

    This is a great piece. With my little experience in marriage (6months, 2weeks, 2days and some few hours) 😉, i concour n I’ve learnt more. God bless u so much 4 ds words. U r truly a blessing 2 our generation. Ur marriage shall never fail in Jesus name, Amen. Well done Sister of God.

  • Babatunde
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:16 am 0Likes

    Awesome! Thank you, ma.

  • steph
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:21 am 0Likes

    Thank you Pst Laju.blessd:)

  • Tito
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:32 am 0Likes


    Posted November 1, 2016 8:37 am 0Likes

    Thank you pastor laju for sharing this with us…..God bless you and your family

  • Meniru Chidinma
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:48 am 0Likes

    Thank you Mama.
    You always been a Great example to me and to us In Love and deed.keep Enjoying the Fullest of God Love in your Marriage. Love you ma

  • Taiwo Adelakun
    Posted November 1, 2016 9:10 am 0Likes

    What can I say, we all have to keep learning and learning and learning. We can’t help it. Thank you ma for that piece, glad i read it.

  • Abigail Azeke
    Posted November 1, 2016 9:42 am 0Likes

    Awesome…… this blessed me
    Many more fulfilled days ahead to you and your family

  • Eseose
    Posted November 1, 2016 10:16 am 0Likes

    Mrs Laju, thou speakest truth, seen as well from other godly families I have been blessed to interact with. God bless you 😁!

  • Crystal
    Posted November 1, 2016 10:20 am 0Likes

    Toms up Sis, well said. Happy Wedding Anniversary! Many more years in Jesus name.

  • Valerie Aikhionbare
    Posted November 1, 2016 10:45 am 0Likes

    This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for taking the time to share this!! God bless you and your family and strengthen you for the years ahead! Congrats on your Anniversary!!

  • Emmanuel Olatunji
    Posted November 1, 2016 10:51 am 0Likes

    Thanks for this piece Ma! #Blessed.
    Congratulations on your Marriage Anniversary.

  • Stephen Olugbenro
    Posted November 1, 2016 10:54 am 0Likes

    Great Insights! Thanks ma!

  • Lawal Funke
    Posted November 1, 2016 11:14 am 0Likes

    great tank u ma

  • Abisola Oloriade
    Posted November 1, 2016 11:32 am 0Likes

    I am touched and blessed….Thank you and God bless you Ma.

  • David O. Robinson
    Posted November 1, 2016 12:27 pm 0Likes

    Really inspiring and eye opening. Thank you ma

  • Shola
    Posted November 1, 2016 1:33 pm 0Likes

    I was thinking you will mention patient does marriage teach you to be patient?

  • Bisola Adeniji
    Posted November 1, 2016 1:35 pm 0Likes

    Truly true words.You will not fail in Jesus name.

  • Folu Seton
    Posted November 1, 2016 1:40 pm 0Likes

    Thanks for sharing this Laju. Looking forward to reading more. God bless

  • Esther Moyin
    Posted November 1, 2016 1:44 pm 0Likes

    Thanks for sharing dear Laju. It is encouraging. Cheers.

  • Ibk
    Posted November 1, 2016 2:26 pm 0Likes


  • Ahre Mishael
    Posted November 1, 2016 2:26 pm 0Likes

    Thank you Pastor Laju for sharing. God bless you

  • Jane Agbarah
    Posted November 1, 2016 2:40 pm 0Likes

    Such an inspiration nd enuf lessons learnt.

  • Nkechi
    Posted November 1, 2016 3:01 pm 0Likes

    *Smiles*… thanks much!!!

  • Mike
    Posted November 1, 2016 4:06 pm 0Likes

    I had a fantastic read
    Thanks Pastor Laju

  • Fiyin
    Posted November 1, 2016 5:40 pm 0Likes

    Thank you Pastor Lady. I am inspired!

  • Wura
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:07 pm 0Likes

    Pastor Laju, you did a great job. I receive grace to put it to practice in Jesus name.

  • Biodun
    Posted November 1, 2016 7:27 pm 0Likes

    I learnt something. Good job ma!
    The world is learning from you.

  • Omotola Balogun
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:03 pm 0Likes

    Great piece Laju!!! Learnt a whole lot.

  • Andel
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:25 pm 0Likes

    Dis is wonderful,,keep it up Mrs iren 😀

  • Dessy Onoja
    Posted November 1, 2016 8:49 pm 0Likes

    Conjugal Bliss my Dear Friend.

  • Durosomo Olusegun
    Posted November 1, 2016 9:19 pm 0Likes

    Well packaged and very inspiring ma. Thank you for sharing

  • Okoye Chioma
    Posted November 1, 2016 11:30 pm 0Likes

    I receive grace to apply dis

  • D.
    Posted November 2, 2016 1:07 am 0Likes

    wise and precise! May God grant u and Pastor Iren many more years in Love.

  • Thomas
    Posted November 2, 2016 1:50 am 0Likes

    Thank you mama!
    No. 12 – what kind of help ma?
    No. 15 – I love!

  • Jigah Dominion
    Posted November 2, 2016 4:13 am 0Likes

    Wow!!! Learning… Thanks Pst laju

  • Ejimadu Chioma
    Posted November 2, 2016 6:32 am 0Likes

    Ha Laju have have never failed to impress me. I have learnt alot from these short and wonderful article of yours. May God increase your wisdom greatly.

  • Joshua M.
    Posted November 2, 2016 7:27 am 0Likes

    Laju Iren! Really wise words! Thank God for you and for Emmanuel and for your marriage. The 20th point is really powerful and everybody in a marriage should remember that. Thank you so much for sharing this. Continue being a blessing. More Grace!!!

  • Steven ifeanyi chukwu
    Posted November 2, 2016 8:27 am 0Likes

    A nice piece Mrs pastor. I like how precise and straight forward it was.Hope to read one about training children.cheers

  • Alumona Victor
    Posted November 2, 2016 8:49 am 0Likes

    Well done mummy!!!
    Nive piece.. Am really learning.
    God bless you ma

    Posted November 2, 2016 1:41 pm 0Likes

    This is an awesome piece
    More Grace Laju

  • Henry Nwanja
    Posted November 2, 2016 7:27 pm 0Likes

    Thanks Laju for this insightful and inspiring write up. It has touched lives far and near. You will always be a blessing to generations

  • Oluwatosin
    Posted November 2, 2016 7:49 pm 0Likes

    wow! well done ma! I learnt a lot. many more years to celeberate. God bless you😊😊😊

  • Omoregie Deborah
    Posted November 3, 2016 1:51 am 0Likes

    This a good write up. It blesses life. I pray I will be giving mine soonest

  • Victoria Oluwatumininu
    Posted November 5, 2016 1:51 pm 0Likes

    Thank you so much ma for being real and practical in sharing these wise words. More of God’s grace, wisdom and strength in your marriage, family and ministry in Jesus’ name.

  • Regina
    Posted November 6, 2016 5:20 pm 0Likes

    Thank you, Laju

  • Jennifer
    Posted November 6, 2016 5:21 pm 0Likes

    Thanks so much for sharing. Its just a little different from what u shared wen u were 3mths in marriage. They are all words of wisdom. God bless u

  • Faith
    Posted November 6, 2016 9:02 pm 0Likes

    awesome…i’ve been blessed by this…

  • Debby
    Posted November 9, 2016 10:32 am 0Likes

    truly inspiring. i totally and completely agree and relate with everything you’ve written. this is ” a must read” for every woman. kudos Pst laju. looking forward to more articles.

  • Yong91
    Posted November 12, 2016 3:43 pm 0Likes

    Reading your site is big pleasure for me,
    it deserves to go viral, you need some initial traffic only.
    If you want to know how to get it search for: blackhatworren’s

  • Fiyin oluwole
    Posted November 19, 2016 7:34 am 0Likes

    Nice one…

  • Morenikeji
    Posted November 9, 2017 10:36 pm 0Likes

    Thank you ma!

  • Trackback: 30 things I’ve learnt in my one year of being a mum – Laju Iren
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